You Ruin Me
by snapesgirl21
Summary: The men in Stephanie's life are fed up with her indecision and make drastic decisions about their lives. One-shot, based on the song "You Ruin Me" by the Veronicas. Set sometime after Explosive Eighteen, but no spoilers for books after that.


_**I recently heard the song 'You Ruin Me' by the Veronicas and immediately went to the Plum world. It's a little different style than I usually do, but you go where the Muse takes you (and mine had a zillion directions she wanted to take me for this one). I highly recommend listening to this song either on itunes or youtube. It's a really beautiful song.**_

Joseph Morelli had a lot going for him. He was attractive, had a good job, owned a house, and had managed to keep a dog alive for the past three years. He knew how to cook, had curtains on his windows, and remembered to put the toilet seat down most the time, even when he was alone. He was loyal and capable of loving someone more than himself. In other words, he wasn't perfect, but he had his shit together.

Except when it came to his love life. Stephanie was the thing in his life that was a mess. He kept the relationship semi-serious and uncommitted because he knew that was all she could give him. She loved him, but not the way he loved her. Maybe she loved him more than she loved herself, but she definitely didn't love him more than she loved Ranger. He'd tried in vain to ignore that fact, had told himself that eventually things would change, that one day she would see that Ranger would never settle down and would finally be ready for a committed relationship. But it had been three years, and things with Ranger had only seemed to progress, however marginally. He'd seen Ranger go to greater lengths for Stephanie, and had watched her fall more in love with him as a result. His anger with Stephanie had intensified in the eight months since the fight in Hawaii, though he hadn't realized it until he'd met a woman named Nicolette. He'd helped her change a flat tire one day after his shift and the spark had been instantaneous. They'd gone to dinner that night, and the next night, and to bed the night after that.

He'd been upfront with her about Stephanie, and she had been understanding. _Let's just see where this goes, but I hope it ends with us being exclusive,_ she'd said to him one night about a week after they'd met. That statement alone had made him realize things were going to be changing in his love life. Here was a woman with a stable, safe job as a cardiologist and a relatively normal family that lived in southern Delaware. She didn't lead him on about feelings or waffle about what she wanted. She'd made it clear to him on their second date that she'd spent most of her twenties in school and residency with the occasional one-night stand to help take the edge off, but now she was at the point in her life where she wanted to settle down with one man. That had been three months ago, and Stephanie hadn't once asked why she was seeing him less often. She'd managed to get herself involved in yet another ridiculous situation that had resulted in Ranger swooping in to save the day. He'd known in that moment that it was time to let her go. If she wanted to pine after a man who would never commit to her then she would have to do it without having _him_ on the back burner. He'd fallen in love with Nicolette, and while he knew he didn't love her the same way he loved Stephanie, he knew it was enough and she was the right path to take.

He reminded himself of that as he walked into Stephanie's apartment, a box of her belongings under his arm. She was sitting on the couch drinking a glass of wine and reading something on her computer. She looked mildly surprised to see him standing in her living room.

"What's up?" she asked, closing the computer. She looked soft and warm, and part of him wanted to curl up next to her for the rest of the night.

He nearly lost his resolve in that moment, but Nicolette's face came to mind to spur him on.

"It's over," he replied.

Stephanie looked confused. "What is?"

He put the box on the coffee table and sat down in a chair. "Us. Whatever this is between us. It's over. I'm moving on."

Morelli was surprised to find a flare of anger course through him at the look of hurt surprise on Stephanie's face.

"Why? I mean—I don't understand," she said. "What happened? Did I do something?"

Morelli let out a humorless laugh. "Don't play dumb, Stephanie. You can't be that surprised."

"Is it because of my job? Ranger? Both?" she asked. "If you have a problem, tell me so I can try to fix it."

Morelli ran his hands through his hair, trying not to yank it out in frustration. " _You_ are the problem, Stephanie. Your insane job, your inability to mind your own damn business, and the fact that you are more in love with Ranger than you are me. I mean, Christ, you didn't even care enough to ask why I've not been around as much these last three months."

It felt like a kick to the stomach to see the dawning and guilt cross Stephanie's face. She hadn't even noticed that he'd kept her at arm's length lately, or that they hadn't had sex in almost a month. He wanted to be angry, and maybe he would be later, but for now he was just sad. Apparently she'd loved him even less than he'd thought.

"You've been seeing someone else." she said quietly, her voice breaking slightly. "How long?"

"Three months."

"And in three months you know you're ready to end this? Joe, we've known each other our whole lives. We know everything about each other. How do you know it's going to last with this woman?"

"Don't give me that shit!" Morelli snapped, standing up. "You didn't even notice that I've been missing Friday dinners with your family and not asking you to spend the night at my place. You haven't bother to ask me if I'm seeing anyone else when I ask you regularly if you're seeing Ranger. All you've done is use me, Stephanie. I'm the fall back guy while you wait around for Ranger to get over his commitment phobia, for when people ask you about having a boyfriend, when you need a place to stay after your apartment get blows up or some maniac is stalking you, or you just need food and don't want to have to get it from your parents. I'm so fucking sick of it. I practically live on acid reflux medication from the stress of worrying about you. I've broken laws and put myself in danger for you. You've been in love with Ranger for most of the time you've been with me and I can't take it anymore. I'm done coming in second place. I met someone who wants me, and only me, and who isn't coming home covered in blood or garbage or having her cars and apartment destroyed on a regular basis. She knows what she wants out of life, and part of that is a life with me. Maybe it won't work out, but I'd rather take the risk of breaking up with her than being strung along by you any longer."

"At least Ranger accepts me for who I am!" Stephanie shouted back, tears falling down her cheeks. "He doesn't complain about my job or tell me that I'm a mess. I may not have it all together yet, but I do love you and want you in my life, even if you don't like everything about me."

Morelli stopped pacing and turned to face her. "You couldn't even manage to say that last part without bringing Ranger into it and telling me how he is better than me."

Stephanie struggled to find words. "I—I didn't mean—,"

Morelli held up a hand. "Save it, Stephanie. I don't need to hear anything else. It's over. I just want my key back." He reached in his pocket and pulled hers out, placing it on the table between them.

She took a moment to process his request, but eventually moved to her purse and pull out her key ring. Even in all of the breaks they'd had, he had never asked for his key back. She held it out to him, her hand trembling slightly.

"Joe, I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Yeah," he said, taking the key. "Me too."

He hated to see her cry. He knew his words had hurt her, but the truth often hurt. It had hurt him enough over the past three years. Even though he was hurting,he walked over and wrapped his arms around her one last time, somewhat satisfied to find that the feeling of her in his arms wasn't as nice as it had once been. Nicolette felt better, right in more ways than Stephanie ever had. And with that knowledge he left the apartment.

* * *

Stephanie felt sick at her stomach as she sat up the rest of the night. Guilt, sadness and little bits of anger ate at her as she replayed Morelli's words in her head. How could she have not noticed it? The decline in sleepovers, phone calls, and sex had all been obvious when she thought back to it. But she'd spent the last three months wondering what was going on with Ranger. He'd been at the Atlanta office more than he'd been in Trenton, which had been highly unusual. Stephanie had only seen him a couple of times, and one of those times had been when he was dragging her out of her mangled car after a crazed FTA had tried to kill her. She had called him a few times, uncertainty getting the best of her, and on more than one occasion she'd heard a woman's voice in the background. She had been so worried about Ranger _potentially_ moving on from her that she'd failed to notice that Morelli actually had.

But how could Morelli say she'd been the one stringing _him_ along? She'd taken his crap about her job, her family, and Ranger for their entire relationship. She'd dealt with rumors and fear about him and Terri Gilman, had taken all of the cops in the city reporting her mishaps to him like he was her keeper, and had listened to more rants and lectures about safety that she'd ever cared to hear. He hadn't accepted her job or life the way it was, and that had been incredibly frustrating at times. Admittedly, part of her had expected that eventually he would be the one she married. Not because she loved him more, but because she feared that Ranger would never settle down. It would have been hard, but she thought that eventually she would have been able to put that part of her life behind her. Her Grandma Mazur had done it with her high school sweetheart, Louis, who had gone off to join the military when they were young. She hadn't wanted to be left behind, waiting for a man that may or may not come back home, so she'd married Ronald Mazur instead. She hadn't loved him the way she'd loved Louis, Grandma had told Stephanie one evening, but he had been enough. Louis ultimately died in a car accident the day after Stephanie's mother had been born. The sadness in her grandmother's face as she had told that story had showed Stephanie that no matter how many years of life, marriage, and motherhood had passed, some feelings never completely died. She'd expected to have something similar when it came to Ranger.

She gave herself a couple of weeks to process the break-up while she waited for Ranger to come back to Trenton, ashamed to find that she didn't quite miss Morelli as much as she thought she would or probably should. She'd called Ranger twice, but he'd said he was busy and would call her back or hadn't answered his phone at all. She hadn't had the chance to tell him that she and Morelli were over, and she wanted to be sure she did it the right way. She'd began to realize that maybe Morelli ending the relationship was the sign that she was supposed to get serious about Ranger. She knew she had to be delicate about it as to not freak him out and scare him off completely, but she also wanted to make sure he knew that she wasn't opening her heart or body to anyone else. She thought it must be something akin to training wild horses. You couldn't push too hard without losing trust and scaring them away, but you had to gently meet them where they were and go from there.

A third unanswered phone call left a sick feeling in the pit of Stephanie's stomach. What was going on with him? Even if he was busy or something bad was going on Ranger always made sure to have some contact with her. It became increasingly difficult to focus on work while her mind began to play out various scenarios out in her head, all of them leaving her alone and Ranger with the woman in the background of his calls.

 _You're overreacting,_ Stephanie told herself repeatedly, pushing down her anxiety. _Ranger can't even commit to you at this point, and you're the closest thing he's had to a relationship in years._

But her insecurities were brought to the surface the next morning at the bond's office when she said something about when Ranger would get back to Trenton.

"He is back," Connie said as she filed her nails. "I saw him a couple of days ago in my neighborhood. One of the neighbors had a break-in."

Stephanie barely kept her coffee and breakfast sandwich in her stomach. "Oh, I guess he's just been busy," she managed to say, hoping her voice didn't betray her.

She let out a soft, shaky breath as to not draw attention to herself before saying she'd remembered a sudden errand she needed to run for her mother so that Lula wouldn't want to tag along. She gave herself a pep talk in the car as she headed towards the Rangeman building, reminding herself that Ranger didn't have to call her the second he got back into town, and that there were plenty of times when he'd been gone and she hadn't known it. Those times just hadn't been in the recent past. She applied an extra coat of mascara at a stoplight and fluffed out her hair before pulling up to the underground garage at Ranger's building. She pressed her key fob towards the gate several times, but the gate refused to open. The indicator light blinked so she knew the batteries weren't dead. She pressed the buzzer on the intercom and asked for entrance. She told herself not to read into the fact that it took a full two minutes before the gate opened.

She parked in a spot next to Ranger's Cayenne and headed to the elevator, surprised to find him waiting for her inside.

"Hey," she said, stepping in and swallowing the small lump that had formed in her throat. "My fob isn't working. Did you update the security system or something?"

"Yes, I did," he said, a hand outstretched for her fob. She laid it in his palm and they rode up to his seventh floor apartment in silence. Stephanie didn't move to speak until they were inside.

"When did you get back?"

"Wednesday."

Three full days he'd been back and not one phone call.

"Is everything okay?" she asked. "You've been radio silent lately."

"I've been busy," he replied, crossing his arms and leaving against the wall of his living room.

"How is the Atlanta office? You've been down there a lot lately."

"Atlanta's fine."

Stephanie cracked her knuckles nervously. "Morelli and I are over for good," she blurted out, feeling stupid as soon as the words came out. That hadn't been how she'd wanted to tell him.

He raised an eyebrow a fraction of an inch. "Are you okay with that?"

She nodded. "I am. It hurt at first, but he made some good points. He's dating someone else, and they are pretty serious."

Ranger simply stared back at her, not giving away any indication of his feelings on the matter. The fact that he was standing across the room from her when he normally couldn't get close enough had her skin crawling.

"Anyway, I wanted to let you know that I'm not getting involved with anyone else," she said. "Besides you, I mean. And not that we are involved-involved, but you know what I mean." She was sounding more and more like an idiot by the minute. "I just wanted to tell you that I am willing to meet you where you are with us, wherever that is. I hope it goes further in the future, but I won't push it. I just wanted to tell you that."

There was a full minute of silence in the apartment after that with only the ticking of the wall clock to disrupt it. Stephanie hadn't expected Ranger to sweep her up in his arms and take her to bed, figuring his wariness of any sort of commitment would prevent that, but she hadn't expected the aura of anger that seemed to emanate from him. It sent ice through her veins and it took all the strength she could muster to prevent her knees from knocking together.

"Why are you telling me this now?" Ranger asked. "Because Morelli's done with you and I'm your fallback?"

"No," Stephanie said a little too loudly. "I—I just feel like I've gotten some perspective in the last couple of weeks. Like maybe this means we are supposed to be together."

"You could only come to this conclusion once Morelli had moved on with someone else. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?"

Stephanie was nonplussed. "I don't know. I guess I don't think about your feelings that much." She closed her eyes as she heard the words that came out of her mouth. "That wasn't what I meant."

"It was the truth," Ranger replied coldly. "You don't think about my feelings. You never really have. You've used me to meet whatever need you had and then you'd run back to Morelli. And for some reason, I've allowed it."

A flash of rage combined with guilt flared in Stephanie. " _I_ used _you?!_ You were the one constantly trying to get me into bed, even when I'd made it clear that I wanted to just be physical with Morelli if you weren't going to give me a committed relationship. You've always made it known that you weren't cut out for anything beyond a friendship with a side of sex."

"And why would I have wanted to put myself out there for anything more with you? You wouldn't have walked away from Morelli if I'd asked you to do so in order to be with me, would you?" Ranger asked, his anger becoming more evident as her took three steps towards her.

"I don't know. But I wouldn't have done it for Morelli," Stephanie replied. "Even if he'd wanted to marry me, I couldn't have walked away from you."

"What if I'd wanted to marry you?" The words were almost whispered like a prayer.

Stephanie was speechless for a moment, trying to wrap her head around the idea that Ranger might have actually considered marriage at some point. "Maybe? I guess there's no way to find out now since Morelli isn't in the picture anymore."

"I'm not going to be in the picture anymore either," Ranger said, his cool mask of indifference back in place. "I'm leaving town. I'm going to make my base of operations out of Atlanta from now on."

"Are you serious? What? Why?" She could hear her heart pounding in her ears and her hands shook as she pushed a piece of hair out of her face. Ice ran through her veins once more and she shuddered visibly. "Oh my God, there _is_ someone else."

"Why would you say that?"

"I've heard her in the background a few times when you've called me in the last few months," Stephanie said, tears falling down her cheeks. "I was scared that you might be seeing someone else, but I told myself it was nothing. I told myself it wasn't serious."

Ranger looked as though he wanted to say something, but stopped himself. "I'm leaving tomorrow for Atlanta. Your key fob didn't work because I've removed you from the system. I won't be living here anymore, and I can't allow non-employees to have that much access to the building. I've removed the tracker from your car so you won't be monitored any longer. It's what you've wanted after all. For me to not keep tabs on you."

"Is it serious?" she asked quietly, not really processing anything else he'd just said. "Are you in love?"

"Yes."

Tears fell down Stephanie's cheeks and she bit down on her trembling lip. "Oh God, this is it. It's really over."

Ranger made no move to comfort Stephanie, which made her both sadder and angrier. "I don't get it," she said after a couple of minutes. "How can you just up and move to Atlanta for some other woman? I mean, you've told me yourself that I'm the closest thing to a relationship you've had in years, and you couldn't commit to me in any real way. How long have you know her? What does she have that I don't?"

"You have everything I want," Ranger said. "But you didn't want to make me a priority. I wasn't worth the risk to you. You didn't trust me enough to not hurt you, and you only came to me now to tell me that you want more from me when your other option gave up you."

"YOU RUINED ME!" Stephanie shouted. "You told me that once, that you'd ruin me for all other men. You'd meant it sexually, and as a joke, but you've managed it. More than just sexually. You've done more for me that anyone ever has, and more than I'd ever expected out of anyone. But you kept me at arm's length. You were the one who didn't trust me enough to let me see who you were, to get close to you, to see you vulnerable. You've ruined me because I don't know how any man will ever live up to what you've made me feel. And maybe I've screwed up and I should have done this sooner, but you could have done something too."

Ranger stared at the floor. "This conversation is going nowhere. You need to leave."

Stephanie began to cry in earnest and walked towards the door with her arms wrapped around her body. "I hope she's worth it," she said as she walked away. Every step was agonizing as she worked her way to the elevator and down to her car. She'd hoped he would rush to catch up to her and tell her everything would work out, and was disappointed every time he didn't.

 _Is this really happening?_ she asked herself later that night as she sat on her fire escape. _Have I really lost both of the men I loved within the same month?_

Taking a page out of her mother's book, Stephanie began drowning her problems in alcohol, though admittedly only managed two days in a row before giving into her usual coping mechanisms of denial and Tastykakes. She tried to go back to work, but anything she'd enjoyed about bond enforcement was gone. Everything was tainted with memories of Ranger. Her friendships with Lula and Connie began to suffer as she remembered shared experiences they'd had with either Morelli or Ranger. Her gut would clench when she'd come across an FTA file that listed Morelli as the arresting officer or showed that Ranger had captured the skip in the past on previous charges. She started looking around Trenton in an attempt to find a new job, but found herself constantly running into people asking about Morelli or commenting on her various mishaps, many of which had involved Ranger in some way.

"Maybe I need to move," Stephanie said out loud at dinner with her family one evening. It had been two months since Ranger had left town without any further contact with Stephanie. Rumor had Morelli and his doctor girlfriend living together in her elegant new home while his aunt's old house was currently on the market. "Somewhere no one has heard of me, Morelli, or Ranger."

"Why would you want to move?" her mother asked. "Your family is here."

"Not all of it," Grandma Mazur replied. "Your cousin Carla is needing a new office manager at her dental practice in Virginia. Her _special friend_ had been taking care of everything, but they had a fight and she left Carla to run off with another lesbian dentist. I wonder if a lot of women dentists are lesbians."

Frank Plum briefly glanced at his mother-in-law before returning to his steak. "You should do it."

"Frank!" Stephanie thought her mother looked as though she might faint. "Why would you suggest your youngest daughter move away all by herself?"

"Sometimes you need change. Sometimes I wished I'd moved out of state when I was younger," he said, his gaze focused on his food and not seeming to notice the outrage and hurt on his wife's face.

Stephanie had hurried out of dinner, her grandmother on her heels, as Frank and Helen Plum erupted into the biggest fight of their marriage. Stephanie dropped her grandmother off at the bingo hall and went home to think about what her family had said.

A new state would give her a fresh start. A new job, a new home, maybe even a new boyfriend. People probably didn't know her in Virginia, so there wouldn't be constant questions about destroyed cars or buildings or crazed FTAs that had made her front page news in Trenton. She reached for her phone and found Carla's phone number. If the job was still open and Carla was willing to take someone with no experience for the position, she'd take it. If not, she was back at the drawing board, but with a new perspective.

* * *

"Carlos, you need to do something else with your life besides work."

Ranger sighed and looked up to see the youngest of his older sisters staring at him from the doorway into his office. "Who keeps letting you in the building?"

"That's my secret," she said with a wink as she plopped down on the edge of his desk. "But seriously, you need to get out of this office. Go play golf, take a fishing trip, or at least go out and get laid. When was the last time you got laid, by the way?"

He pinched the bridge of his nose and fought through the heat that threatened to creep into his face. The man could say and do some incredibly filthy things, but for some reason he'd never managed to get past the embarrassment phase when it came to a family member talking about sex.

 _One year, eight months, and four days_ was the answer, but the one he gave to his sister was "It's none of your business. Get out of my office."

"I'm here to drag you out of it," she said firmly. "You need to do something besides work. Have you done _anything_ for pleasure since you moved here a year ago?"

They both knew damned well that he hadn't. Drowning himself in his work had been the only thing that had kept him from running back to Trenton and throwing himself at Stephanie's mercy. He had been struggling with Stephanie's unclear feelings the year before and had confessed this to his sister, who had recently moved from New York City to work at a friend's design firm in Atlanta. They had always been close, and Silvia had been both touched that he loved Stephanie as much as he did and angry at both of them for being so stupid. She'd told him that he either needed to fight for Stephanie or walk away because she could tell the strain was getting to him. He'd assumed that fighting for her would be useless because she'd still be drawn to Morelli, and he worried that he wouldn't be enough for her in the end. When he let himself stop to really think about it, he realized how much it all hurt.

When she'd come by his apartment that day in Trenton to tell him that she and Morelli were over, he'd fought the urge to scoop her up and lock them away in his apartment for days on end. As much as he liked hearing that Morelli had moved on, he'd found himself angry that she couldn't have reached the same conclusion until she had no other options. He'd been angrier with himself for not fighting harder for her, not taking chances he'd had in the past with her, and for letting himself fall for her in the first place. He'd been confused at first when she'd asked about another woman, realizing that he had been with Silvia a few times when she had called him and that she had obviously heard his sister in the background and assumed it was a romantic or sexual relationship. He'd taken a split second to decide not to correct her. He thought it might be easier that way, if she thought he was moving on because of someone else and not because he hated himself for allowing her to trample his heart.

He'd promised himself and Silvia that he would have nothing more to do with her once he got to Atlanta. He'd told the men in his Trenton office to not provide her any assistance that they wouldn't offer to any other non-client citizen in the area. He'd made sure Tank knew that he didn't want any sort of update on her and he'd managed to resist the urge to check her phone GPS or her personal history to see if anything had changed. The only thing he'd learned was that she had quit the bond's office about two months after he'd left Trenton. Vinnie had called Tank to ask if Rangeman would be willing to do temporary BEA work while he worked on hiring a new, competent BEA to replace her, and Tank had run it by Ranger.

He had only been back to Trenton twice since leaving, doing his best to get in and out of the city with as little contact with the world outside of that office as possible. His last visit six weeks earlier had provided him with the surprise of reading about the impending nuptials for Detective Joseph Morelli and Dr. Nicolette Monroe. The couple was due to get married in Hilton Head the following week. Up until that point, Ranger had been managing with the radio silence regarding Stephanie fairly well. He had convinced himself that she had likely gotten back together with Morelli and they were having a normal relationship now that he was no longer in the picture. The knowledge that his suspicions had been wrong now clogged his mind and interrupted his concentration. He was troubled by the fact that he knew nothing about Stephanie's life at present, with the exception of knowing that she was still alive and not gravely injured. He knew Tank would have ignored his orders to at least inform him if something serious had happened to her.

"Let's go out," Silvia said, bringing him back to the present. "There's a new club I've been wanting to go to downtown. I've heard the food and music is perfect."

"No thanks, Sil," he said. "I need to take care of this paperwork."

Silvia made a disgusted noise and hopped off his desk. "Fine, be that way." She walked towards the door and paused, turning around with an uncertain look on her face. "Maybe you should check up on her, just to ease your mind. Maybe it'll be easier for you to move on if you can see that she has."

Later that evening, after two glasses of wine and three hours of trying to talk himself out of it, Ranger gave in and did a search on Stephanie. He was typically impressed and proud at the speed of the background systems his company used, but that night he was feeling impatient, strumming his fingers on this desk while one knee bounced. He was surprised to find Stephanie living in Richmond, Virginia. She'd moved there after quitting the bond's office and had a studio apartment in a decent neighborhood. _Employment history_ showed her as the current office manager at a dental practice in the city for someone named Carla Mazur, who turned out to be a cousin. She had a steady income, had managed to keep the same car she'd left Trenton with, and hadn't had any police or media reports. Health insurance showed regular check-ups, and to Ranger's slight relief, no prescriptions for birth control. The social history didn't connect her with anyone in Virginia other than her cousin, which meant that any relationships were either very new, hadn't lasted very long, or there hadn't been any relationships to identify. She had a Virginia driver's license, and his heart ached as he looked at her picture. She had changed her hair at the time she'd had the picture taken. It was shorter, lighter, and straightened.

The information he'd gathered told him that she had moved away from Trenton and was starting over professionally, but told him next to nothing about her personal life. Silvia's suggestion that it might be easier to move on if he could see that she had seemed to have the opposite of the intended effect. All it had done was make him want to see her even more than before. It would be at least a nine-hour drive to Richmond from Atlanta, which would give him time to plan out what he wanted to do. He gave himself another hour to make sure that he really wanted to do it before heading down to his Mercedes and leaving town.

It was just before eight the next morning as he pulled into a spot on the street by Stephanie's apartment building in Richmond. He knew the dental practice wouldn't open until nine-thirty and that she only had a ten minute commute from home, so he figured it unlikely that he had missed her leaving. He had also done enough research to find out that the apartment building had parking for its residents in a garage across the street so he would see her head to her car. The plan he'd come up with on the drive had been to follow her and observe her throughout the day to see what her routine was like. It wasn't a very detailed plan and had a lot of holes in it, but it was the only scenario he'd come up with that didn't involve speaking to her directly or making himself look like a lovesick fool.

His heart stammered in his chest half an hour later when he saw her emerge from her building. She was dressed in black scrubs and carried a large black purse. He managed a small laugh at her attire, never having seen her dressed like that and vaguely wondered if the color had been her choice or the office standard. He trailed her from a distance, watching as she stopped at Dunkin' Donuts for coffee and a donut before heading towards the office.

 _At least some things stay the same_ , he thought as he watched her struggle to unlock the door to the office while trying to eat her donut and hold her coffee cup. The office was in a large medical complex with six separate buildings that surrounded the parking lot on three sides. He had parked on the opposite side of the lot in front of a cosmetic surgeon's office and had a clear view into the office through four large windows. He pulled out binoculars and watched her for a few minutes as she turned on lights, booted computers, and turned on a flat screen television in the waiting area to CNN. She hadn't looked extremely happy at any point in the morning, which wasn't really a surprise, but she hadn't looked satisfied either. She looked like someone who was going through the motions. His spying was interrupted as more cars pulled into the lot in front of the dental practice and two more women went inside. The dental practice's website had listed their lunch hours from twelve-thirty to two, so he pulled away and decided to check into a nearby hotel for food and sleep until it was time to check up on her at lunch.

At exactly twelve-thirty, Stephanie and four other women left the office and locked the door behind them. The woman Ranger had identified as the dentist climbed into the driver's seat of an Escalade and the other three woman climbed in as well. Ranger followed Stephanie as she drove three blocks to a small Italian diner. He parked on the opposite side of the street and watched as she took a seat at a counter that faced the window. She glanced briefly at the menu and spoke to a waitress that had brought her a soda. She was apparently a regular customer. She plugged headphones into her iPhone and stared absentmindedly out the window. For a heart-stopping second, she stared right at Ranger, though she couldn't see him through the tinted glass. There was no suspicion or recognition in her expression, so clearly she didn't immediately assume anything beyond there being an expensive black car parked on the street. His gut churned as he watched her slowly eat her food. She didn't seem miserable, but she was unhappy. That much was obvious to him.

She returned to the office at the end of her lunch break, and then left the office for the day shortly after five. She had given a half-hearted wave to her colleagues and pulled out of the lot. She stopped at a grocery store and left twenty minutes later with three grocery bags. He followed her home and watched as she went into her building. He knew from floor plans that she had a unit facing the street so he watched for a light to come on in her window and stayed in his position until nearly midnight. Her light had been off for an hour, so he took it as a sign that she had gone to bed, and he decided to do the same.

Back at his hotel, Ranger stripped and showered while processing what he'd observed. He monitored her credit and debit card activity on his computer, but found no evidence of a social life. She went to the grocery store a couple of times a week, she put fuel in her car, had coffee nearly every morning, ate lunch at various restaurants during the week, occasionally had dinner out, and treated herself to an appointment at a nail salon every two weeks. She had a Netflix subscription, had paid off her credit cards, and was current on all of her bills and rent. Her cell phone records showed she called her family at least once a week and texted with her friends back in Trenton, though contact had declined from multiple times a day to once or twice a week over the course of the past year. Occasional calls or texts were made to her coworkers at the dental office and a few numbers showed up belonging to various men, though none of them had called more than two or three times. There was no evidence of frequent dates or of any sort of social life. No concert tickets or weekend trips to wineries. Her life was reflecting his own, and that made him feel worse. He was used to that kind of life, and felt that it was all well deserved. Stephanie was neither used to it nor did she deserve it. Had he done that by deceiving her before cutting ties?

Reflection on his decision to leave had been gnawing at him ever since. Why hadn't he stayed? Morelli was done with her, so why hadn't he stayed around to see where things could have gone? He'd been struggling internally for the last few months with the idea of marrying her. He hadn't been ready to take that step, but he'd thought he might be ready to ask her to move in with. Why hadn't he? His pride had been the answer. He'd felt pathetic and ashamed of it. She had made him vulnerable, which scared the shit out of him. Vulnerability was too human for him. He laid awake the rest of the night debating what he should do. He didn't know if he had the nerve to face her and bare his soul after not having seen her for a year. He didn't know what her feelings were about him, and didn't want to put her on the spot by demanding answers in the moment. But he also didn't want to just leave a voicemail or send a text message. Both felt impersonal and detached. As dawn broke and filled his room with sunlight, he opted for a middle ground.

He watched as she left for work the next morning thought he didn't follow her. He waited for twenty minutes to make sure she didn't come back home for any forgotten items before heading into her building and letting himself into her apartment. The studio was bright and well-furnished, at least in comparison to what her apartment in Trenton had been. The furniture was IKEA, but new and in good condition. A cream colored sofa, a matching chair, an end table and coffee table all faced a flat screen television mounted on a dark wood stand. The walls were neutral throughout. A small, two-person dining set was in the small, but updated kitchen area and her bedroom area was hidden behind two brown privacy screens with elegant dark red designs. The bed was covered with a deep purple quilt. A touch to her pillow made him smile. She had spent the money on sheets very much like the ones Ella had kept on his bed in Trenton. He looked through her medicine cabinet and drawers, finding nothing of interest. What he also noticed was that there weren't any personal items in her apartment. No hand-me-downs from family members, no souvenirs from trips or keepsakes from good times. No pictures of family or friends. The only item that identified the apartment as belonging to Stephanie was the presence of her hamster in the kitchen area. Ranger tapped on the glass and Rex came out of his soup can, though the hamster had seemed as depressed as his owner.

He pulled out a piece of paper and a pen he'd taken from the hotel and thought for a few minutes about what he wanted to say and how he needed to say it.

 _There never was anyone else. You have always been, and always will be, the only one for me. I miss you, and I love you. And I'm sorry._

He didn't sign the note. He knew he didn't need to. He felt like it said the right things for the moment and left the ball in Stephanie's court. He'd written his room number in the top corner of the stationery by the name and address of the hotel. He planned to stay for a couple of days before heading back to Atlanta, telling himself that even if she didn't show up at the hotel that it didn't mean all was lost. She knew he was in Atlanta, and knew how to get in contact. He taped the note to Rex's cage and left.

The next several hours felt like days as he speculated about her response to finding his note. He threw himself into work, reading documents about a possible merger with a company in Cleveland that would result in the fifth branch of Rangeman. Work had proved to be a useful distraction because he'd been surprised by the knock on his door shortly after six that evening. He took a deep breath and ordered his pulse to slow as he looked through the peephole.

It was her. She had changed out of her work clothes and was wearing jeans and a rust-colored t-shirt.

He rested his forehead against the door for a moment and closed his eyes. A rush of emotion threatened to overwhelm him, and he wanted it under control before he opened the door to her. When he did, he saw the flash of relief and longing in her expression. He stood to the side and she walked past him, the scent of a pleasant-smelling perfume lingering in her wake.

"How are you?" he asked after several moments of uncomfortable silence.

The question immediately brought tears to Stephanie's eyes and she looked away from him as she shrugged one shoulder. "Miserable," she said hoarsely. "The bed I made for myself hasn't been easy to lie in."

Ranger took a seat on the nearby sofa. "You weren't the only that made that bed, nor have you been the only one to have to lie in."

"But that's what you said to me. You told me that it was all my fault that you were leaving because I couldn't make up my mind about you and Morelli."

Guilt flooded him at the pain in her voice. He rested his elbows on his knees and ran his hands over his hair.

"I did. But it wasn't entirely on you. I know I didn't make it easy for you. I wanted you and pushed you away at the same time. It was confusing to me, and had to be even more confusing to you. I screwed up, and not just when I left. I screwed up repeatedly from the beginning. It was unfair of me to lay all of that blame on you."

Stephanie seemed too stunned to move or speak for a moment, but opted to take a seat next to him on the sofa once she managed to pull herself together.

"There was never another woman?"

Ranger shook his head. "The woman you heard on the phone is my sister, Silvia. She'd moved to Atlanta a few months before I did."

He waited a beat before asking his own question. "Have you been seeing anyone?"

Stephanie snorted and wiped at a couple of tears on her cheek. "I've gone out with three very dull men. None of them were worth a second date."

Unable to stop himself, Ranger reached over and wrapped his hand around one of hers. The feel of her skin under his sent jolts of emotion through him, and when she pulled her hand away he felt sick.

"Why are you here, Ranger? What do you want?" she asked.

"I'm miserable without you," he admitted. "I used to think you'd ruined me, and that was a bad thing. I've come to realize you did ruin me, but that it was for the better. You ruined the cold, detached part of me. You made me human again. I haven't felt human since I left Trenton, and I couldn't stay away any longer. I didn't know what to expect when I looked you up the other day, and I didn't know what to expect when I came here. I didn't have much of a plan to begin with, and only decided this morning to leave you a note. I followed you around yesterday."

Stephanie let out a small gasp. "You were in the parking lot across from the dental office, and then later outside the diner when I was at lunch! I remembered seeing a black Mercedes with tinted windows and thinking that it looked like a car you would drive."

He nodded. "I thought you'd made me for a minute at lunch."

"I've missed you. A lot," Stephanie said after a moment. "I've thought about everything I could have done differently from the first time you kissed me to the first time we slept together to our time in Hawaii and that last day I saw you. I'm sorry for what I did to you. You weren't wrong to be angry or to give up on me, on the possibility of us."

She reached over and put her hand in his, and he squeezed it before bringing her fingers to his lips.

"What does this mean for us?" she asked. "What do you want?"

"I want to marry you," he said immediately. "But we should probably take it a little slower than that and start out by living in the same town again. I'd prefer you to live with me, but if you need your own space in the beginning I'd understand. I just don't want to be without you anymore."

Stephanie took a few moment to digest everything he'd just said before she spoke. "My instinct is to say yes, and run away with you to Georgia. But this is a lot to take in. I haven't seen you in a year, and I've been trying to make myself get over you. Can I sleep on this? I'm not saying that I won't ever come to Atlanta, but I'm just not sure if it should be right now. Do you understand?"

"I do," he said, even though the words stabbed at his heart. What had he expected, that she'd leap into his arms and they'd drive off into the sunset after a night of passionate sex? "I'm leaving the day after tomorrow, but you don't have to come with me now. The invitation is open-ended. Like I said, it's always going to be you."

She left a few minutes later with a soft goodbye and the promise to be in touch soon. He longed for a kiss and to hold her, but hadn't pushed himself on her. It had been year, and the year had changed them both. Hopefully the changes would work in their favor.

He was disappointed when she didn't call or come to his hotel room the next day, nor did she show up the following morning. He reminded himself of his own words and told himself that not worry. He fought the urge to call her, and drove south out of town with a slightly heavy heart. Had he misread her?

The drive back to Atlanta seemed to pass quickly as he got lost in his thoughts, replaying the conversation with Stephanie on a constant loop. He let his guard down as he pulled into the Rangeman garage, almost missing the fact that there was a car with Virginia plates parked in the slot next to his own. The backseat of the car was filled with boxes, but the driver's seat was empty.

Ranger hurried out of the car and up to his apartment where he found his housekeeper Cynthia talking to Stephanie in the kitchen.

"I was just getting Stephanie settled," Cynthia said. "Tank had told us that if she ever showed up at the office that we should bring her up here. Is there anything else you need from me for now?"

Thinking he owed his best friend an enormous amount of favors, he thanked Cynthia and dismissed her, his eyes never leaving Stephanie's. The squeak of a hamster wheel interrupted the silence, and he cut his eyes to the kitchen counter where Rex had made himself at home.

"I'm a package deal," Stephanie said, indicating the cage. "Are you sure you're up for that kind of commitment?"

He couldn't help but smile as he reached for her. Their kiss was tender and emotional, the weight of her absence lifted off of him. He pulled her towards the bedroom where they got lost in each other and their new beginning.

 _ **Thanks for reading. I'm hoping to get back into the writing gig soon.**_


End file.
